Some days

I'm sure every divorced mom agrees, some days just suck.  That was yesterday.  Not because the kids were bad, but because life is hard when you don't have someone in your corner, daily.

My ex ruined our marriage and for what?  He messed up all our lives for a piece of ass.  And now the word on the street is there is trouble for the newlyweds.  I couldn't help but think why?  Why did you do this you selfish bastard?  Was it worth it?  I know it wasn't.  He misses our family as much as I do, but there is no going back.  The trust is gone, completely.  The funny thing is, when he asked to come home, for the third time,  I was considering taking him back.  The only requirement I had was for him to win me back.  I wanted to know there was a real desire to repair our family and not just him looking for an easy way out of his relationship.  Obviously he didn't put forth the effort.  The clincher was when he text me "you need to decide if you are taking me back or not because my wedding is coming up."  LMFAO

I cried myself to sleep last night, after my ex called to talk with the boys @10.  Not because I love my ex.  Not because I miss him.  But because I miss the family life.  I don't need my ex to have that.  I do need a man willing to step up to the plat that another man left on the table.  What I am finding is the majority of men in the dating pool are also selfish.  They won't go out of their way or inconvenience themselves at all.  They don't want kids in their life, let alone help parent them.  Some of them are afraid of being hurt.  Some of them are just tools.  I am not giving up hope. 



I am taking chances even though I was hurt.....hell, I still am hurt.  Wanting to be happy outweighs my fear of being hurt though.  Will I get hurt again, I'm sure.  It may not be a big hurt, but I will get hurt.  Life goes on.



Remember that and never give up on love!!!  

~Chel